The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Phew. What a strange week. I think that’s all I have to say about that. Without further ado, here are the Sassy Sundries, my (sort-of) weekly tally of things personal, political, and nonsensical.

My dad’s alive. My mom’s alive. They might drive me crazy sometimes, but I love my parents. Too Much Trauma to Rate

Can someone please tell me why one of the most intelligent and incisive interviews I’ve seen by an American was Jon Stewart’s grilling of CNBC’s Mad Money host Jim Cramer on the Daily Show? Stewart exposed how Cramer (and by extension, other financial reporters) had gotten into bed with Wall Street honchos, and in the process fucked the country. He did his research, that thing reporters are supposed to do, not guys who tell fart jokes. News networks, let this be a lesson to you. Plus Five

Date called it quits with me in what had to be the most honest, kindest way ever. We had a great time, but the magic just wasn’t there with us. I’ll miss what we had, but I’m looking forward to our friendship. Plus Five

In a GQ interview, Michael Steele admitted that he believed in a woman’s right choose abortion. He’s also compared quitting being gay to quitting being black—impossible. Conservatives railed against him for the break with their anti-choice, homophobic platform. Man, this head of the Republican Party is just walking in a shitstorm. Heh. Plus One

Bernie Madoff pled guilty to stealing from everyone from celebrities to little old me (my retirement plan had investments with Madoff). I’m happy that he’ll spend the rest of his life in jail, but I’d like my money back, please. Minus Two

This week we marked International Women’s Day. President Obama created an Interagency Task force on Women and Girls. This isn’t everything feminists wanted, but it sure as hell beats the eight-year assault on women’s rights by W & Co. We’re not there yet, Baby. Plus Three

Long, long ago, I won the top-seller award for my Girl Scout troop because my friend’s grandfather purchased two hundred boxes of Thin Mints. Would you believe he was a rail? Times have changed. An enterprising Girl Scout took to YouTube to boost her sales. Alas, Internet advertising is verboten for Girl Scout Cookies, and the young girl had to take the ad down. Honey, you just need to find my friend’s grandpa. You’ll do fine. Plus One

Total Plus 15
Total Minus 2
TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: +13
Last Week’s Total: -651,000

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Well, that’s better. Instead of reporting on six months’ worth of news, I only have to recount seven measly days. I think I can handle that.

Wow! Blogville remembered me! Thanks for the response to my resurrection posts. You all make me feel so loved. It’s been great to read about how you’ve all been faring since I dropped off the face of cyberspace. I’d like to do it more, but I’m afraid I still work for the Interweb Nazis. I can’t visit you all as much as I’d like, but I’m trying.

What a great night. As I type, a beautiful full moon fills the sky outside my window. It rose a beautiful pink (I don’t care what Nick Drake says, it’s not going to get me) and now shines a pale yellow. I grilled me up some veggies earlier this evening and hung out on the patio. This weekend’s shaping up to be filled with Shakespeare on the Common, Somerville’s Art Beat, the beach, a Haymarket adventure, and friends. No complaints here.

Enough blabbing already. It’s time for the Sassy Sundries, my weekly tally of things personal, political, and nonsensical. It feels good to be doing this again.

The Obama campaign shows a complete lack of humor by trashing the New Yorker’s brilliant satirical cover. Man, we the readership are on your side. Relax already. Minus One

For the first time since the seventh grade, I have short hair. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I’ve received nothing but compliments. It’s done a lot to erase the memory of that old beauty-school student hack job. Plus One

Job hunting. It sucks. Figures I’m finally ready to move on during the worst economy in forever. If anyone has any advice, please e-mail me. Minus Two

The Red Sox scrape their way into first place before the All-Star break. J.D. Drew gets the MVP for the All Star game, and A-Rod is fending off rumors about Madonna. Heh. Plus Three

Dumbass W opens up lands to oil drilling. Will it solve our energy crisis? Nope. Will it give welfare to greedy corporations? Yep. Minus Five

Hardboiled Wonderland at the End of the World. What took me so long to read this? What was I thinking? Genius. Will write more when I’ve read more. Plus Three

Had my boy juju going last weekend. I have no idea what kind of cosmic alignment took place, but I had several young men making a point of letting me know they appreciated me. Must remember to wear sundress more often. Plus One

Total Plus: 8
Total Minus: 8

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: Even Steven

The Sassy Sundries: Six Months (?!) of My Life in Review

I say, GODAMN! Six months, more, since I last tended this bloggy thing? Oh Holy Jesus. I can’t believe it.

Well, to tell you the truth, I do believe it. For one thing, Fresh Hell hasn’t let me forget it (see below for more about that fabulous lady). For another, even if you've forgotten all about me, I have thought about you denizens of Blogville a lot these last months. Robyn, I hadn’t checked that inbox in quite some time. Thanks for you concern—I am still alive, and all things considered, just fine and dandy. Dive, I miss you.

God, what a lot of pressure. The first post back has to be perfect. Or, at least that’s what I kept telling myself, which is why I haven’t posted for so long. Tonight, though, I say fuck it to that thought, because it’s high time I wrote something. And what better way for me to break back into blogging than with an extended version of the Sassy Sundries, my tally of things personal, political, and nonsensical. Without further ado, here are the Sassy Sundries for the last six months:

Call me Auntie Sassy. My sister had the cutest, coolest little boy on the planet back in March. Babies might not be my thing, but my goodness I love that little guy. He seems to dig me too. The last time he saw me, his face lit up, he smiled, and reached for me. He’s just great. I’ve dressed him up in homemade onesies with sayings like, “When two people love each other very much…” and “I ate, slept, and pooped today!” Styling baby, Nephew is. Plus Twenty

Now that Mom’s officially Grammy, she’s been dropping not-so-subtle hints that it’s high time for me to settle down. Had a bit of a rough visit this past weekend. I called her up tonight, though, and we seem to have sorted things out. Three cheers for therapy! Minus Two

Knudsen scares me. He predicted a McCain presidency way back when, and I hope to Everything that his prediction was only true for the nomination. Come on, Obama! We need you! Minus Two for the prediction; Plus Three for hoping we get us some change.

Speaking of politics, what happened to our Democratic majority in Congress? I just checked the news, and they caved to Dumb W about warrantless wiretapping. Ever heard of the Fourth Amendment, people? And why are we still funding that illegal, pointless war? Minus Ten

Fresh Hell and I have become fast friends, proof that Blogville camaraderie can exist in reality. Love you, Lady. And, Andraste, the three of us are due for some beer! Plus Twenty

Blogging wasn’t the only thing I took a break from. Aside from the Australia Day Smooching Incident, and a wee little Irish fellow asking me, “Do you want to go home and fuck?” (priceless accent—but the line still didn’t work) after a night of heavy drinking with Fresh, I hadn’t had any hint of dating action since the holidays until last week. Alas, the "date" was a setup, and there was no chemistry whatsoever. Still, we made the best of it and us a fine old time, laughing about how we didn’t want to get into one another’s knickers. It might not have been a real date, but the seal’s broken, and I think I might be ready to risk my heart again. Even

So it only happened because Little Blue Peep finally bit the dust, but I’m still happy to say that I’ve reduced my carbon footprint. Now that I’m sans car, things take a little bit more planning to happen, but I’m managing just fine. My Sudoku skills have definitely improved. Plus Three

OK, so the Sox are in second place? There’s still time. And we’re not second to the Yankees. Even

Total Plus: 46
Total Minus: 14

TOTAL FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS OF MY LIFE: +32

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

A week went by? Seriously? Yikes. Guess I was busy.

The calendar tells me that it’s time to do the Sassy Sundries, my weekly tally of things personal, political, and nonsensical, and so behold, the Sassy Sundries:

The Red Sox swept the Angels. Watching Manny Ramirez launch the ball out of Fenway Park erased the shame of spending Friday night in front of the tube. And then the Yankees needed their hankies. It was a beautiful week for baseball. Tonight, it’s Scout vs. Sundry, as Robyn’s Indians and my beloved Sox face off for Game 1 of the ALCS. October rocks. Plus Five

W comes out against a Congressional resolution calling the Armenian genocide a genocide, saying that it will harm our relationship with Turkey, a “key ally in the War on Terror.” Would he call the Holocaust an unfortunate incident if Germany hadn’t recognized its past and supported the Iraq War? Minus Three

California became the first state in the nation to pass a law prohibiting landlords from acting as immigration officials. Let's hope the nation follows. Now before everyone goes off in my comments box, I strongly suggest two things. First, read up on US activity in the regions where most of the illegals come from. Just as the positive results of our actions endure, so do the consequences of our negative actions. Second, put your money where your mouth is and start supporting organizations that work to give people a reason to stay home. I support and can recommend several. Plus Three

British writer Doris Lessing won the Nobel Prize for Literature. Not only does she deserve the honor, The Golden Notebook being one of the great novels of the last century, but her victory also upset the British bookies betting on the prize. For some reason, that last part makes me smile. Plus Three

The National put on an amazing show Saturday night at the Roxy. Music can take you to another place, and I’m still smiling over that performance. Plus Two

I made a new friend at the National show (not that kind of friend). Actually, I’ve been branching out a lot lately, and I’m enjoying my social life. There’s more to life than dating, and a woman needs friends. Plus Four

Hats off to Al Gore, for sharing the Nobel Peace Prize for his work to raise awareness about climate change. Plus Three

Total Plus: 17
Total Minus: 3
TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: +14

Last Week’s Total: +3

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Goddamn, it’s still lovely out. It may feel like August outside, but it’s October, baby, and the Red Sox are playing some baseball! Life is good. Well, actually life could be better for me. I’ve been a bit down this week, but hey, with wonderful things afoot, things are bound to improve.

It’s that time again. Time for me to tally up the week’s events, personal, political, and nonsensical. Without any further ado, here are the week’s Sassy Sundries:

A little celebratory cake, surrounded by Chester A. Arthur memorabilia

A very Happy Birthday today to Chester A. Arthur, the Ultimate Blank Years President. Today also marks the anniversary of my first comment from Robyn. Glad to know you, Blog Pal. Plus One

Hypocritical homophobic Senator Larry Craig fails in his attempt to reverse his guilty plea to a charge that he solicited sex in an airport men’s room. He’s still determined to stay in the Senate until the end of his term in January 2009. Yeah, good luck with that, Senator. Minus One

The Boston Red Sox, with help from the scrappy Baltimore Oriels, win their division for the first time since 1995. There’s a long row to hoe, but the hometown team’s performance in Game One was a great way to start. Oh, and Satan's Minions lost their first game. Plus Five

Congress initiates legislation to hold American contractors operating in Iraq accountable in US courts after reports emerge in Septmeber that employees of Blackwater USA opened fire and killed Iraqi civilians under questionable circumstances. With the administration strongly opposed to the proposed legislation, I doubt anything will pass, but the effort counts for something. Even

W delivers on his promise and vetoed the S-CHIP bill, stating that it would lead to socialized health care. Oh, no! Not a healthcare system where everyone’s covered, people live longer, and the infant mortality rate goes down! There’s been some talk about how this bill would be funded, but the way I see it, if we didn’t have an illegal and unnecessary war draining billions and billions of dollars a year, coming up with $35 billion to insure children wouldn’t take much doing. Minus Five

I finally got to see the Mountain Goats Sunday night at the Middle East. Fantastic show. Am looking forward to the National this weekend and Architecture in Helsinki the next (other shows to follow). October isn’t just for baseball. Plus Three

Total Plus: 9
Total Minus: 6

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: +3

Last Week’s Total: +4

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Summer’s last hurrah continued to defy the crisp fall banshees, making it almost impossible to go into work this week. While the beach tempted me all week, I stayed away. This weather cannot last forever, and if I get back into summer mode, the cold weather will be that much more soul crushing.

So instead, I’m sitting inside (the sun has just begun to stream through my open window), tallying up the week’s events. Here are the week’s Sassy Sundries (Warning: Contains Grey's spoilers):

Tuesday had me boozing it up with Andraste and Fresh Hell (missing her favorite TV show’s premiere), and we had ourselves a time. Old Knudsen and Dive, we so talked about you. We also shared stories of drink, music, baseball, men folk (I know what SPOUSE’s name is!), gabbing and gabbing until we were drowned out by the karaoke performers—and then we laughed. The rest of you Boston blog friends missed a great time. You know who you are. Plus Ten

Protests led by Buddhist monks challenging the military junta in Myanmar turned deadly, and things look like they’re going to get worse. Minus Five

The Red Sox pull their heads out of their asses (until last night, that is), preserving their lead over Satan’s Minions. Can they do it? Even

Grey’s Anatomy returns. I’m with Terroni—what was up with Bambi? And, worse for me, what was up with that pun at the end (Alex hands Cristina some money from his patient’s innards just as Meredith starts the voiceover with “Change…”)? Still, it’s a soap opera, I know it’s a soap opera, and M and I had a grand time watching our interns learn how to be residents and debating George’s love triangle (I'm for Izzy, M's for Callie). Who knew that George would be the stud of the show? Plus Two

W has no problem throwing billions and billions of dollars down the drain in Iraq but can’t bring himself to sign off on an extension of the S-CHIP program to cover uninsured children. Compassionate conservatism much? Minus Three

Avalon and Axis, two music/dancing venues that attracted drunken throngs of Boston’s music fans and club kids for decades, will be closing down to make way for a bigger music hall. Having spent a great deal of my misspent youth at Axis and a fair amount of my misspent adulthood checking out shows at Avalon, I feel a twinge of sadness. Minus One

One of the Jena Six students has been released on bail prior to his trial as a juvenile. Plus One

Total Plus: 13
Total Minus: 9

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: +4

Last Week’s Total: -29

A Note about My (Lack of) Commenting: I’ve said this a couple of times, but I wanted all of you to know that my silence does not reflect my feelings for you. My place of employment has gone all Big Brother over internet usage, and I could get fired for blogging. Since I’m not much of a morning person, it’s either post or comment. So, sometimes I’ll post, sometimes I’ll comment. I will check out your blogs when I can, and please know that I still love each and every one of you.

The Sassy Sundries Return! My Week in Review

Friday has graced us with its presence again. The realization that today is Friday triggers a foggy recollection about a weekly tally of events personal, political, and nonsensical. This memory is a pleasant one, so I’m singing my Friday Song (sing along!) as I add up the week.

Here are the week’s Sassy Sundries:

Call me Auntie Sassy. My sister’s pregnant! Very excited. Very relieved that it’s her and not me. Plus Ten

W gave a speech on Iraq (I fell asleep on the couch and missed it, but I caught the replay). He announced that he’s bring home 5,700 soldiers (before Christmas!), failing to note that it’s time for those soldiers to come home. Remember when this surge was supposed to last six months? That safe place in Anbar where the sheik who aligned himself with the US forces was killed in a roadside bomb? Oops. W also announced his intention to leave an American presence in Iraq through the end of his presidency. Big shock there. Minus Five

David Ortiz (Big Papi) hit his first walk-off homerun of the season. Joy ensues. This makes me very happy that I don’t give a rat’s patootie about football. Shame on those Patriots, eh? Plus Two

David Petraeus David Petraeus David Petraeus David Petraeus gave his report to Congress. He recommended starting to “draw down” US forces (but not a “precipitous withdrawal”—that would be bad), and he hailed the Iraqi’s government failure to meet all but three of its benchmarks as a limited success. When asked by Republican Senator John Warner if the continued surge would keep America safe, he said that he hadn’t thought about it. Why are we there again?Minus Five

I took back my birthday. Woo hoo! Plus, Smokestack came down last weekend, and we had a grand time gallivanting around Cambridge. Plus Ten

Had a bit of post-birthday letdown and felt a little lonely Wednesday evening. Roommate kindly listened to me cry in my beer. I’m feeling better. Even

Total Plus: 14
Total Minus: 10

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: +4

Last Time’s Total: +23

Boston Blog Friends: Let’s do this meetup thing. I’m thinking midweek drinks somewhere (preferably somewhere where Rich, our non-drinking Blog Friend, will feel comfortable). My week’s fairly open next week and the week after that, so perhaps we could organize something? I have a few watering holes, and I’m open to suggestions. I have an e-mail link in my profile. E-mail me if you’re interested, and we’ll plan this thing!

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Well, this week featured resolution for me. I’m afraid that I did not pay attention to much else (including all of your blogs—part of this is due to a major crackdown on web usage at work, but mostly it’s because I’ve been in my own head—I’ll be back soon).

Here are the week’s Sassy Sundries, my weekly tally of things political, personal, and nonsensical:

McOver. I’m disappointed that things didn’t work out with us, but I’m relieved to finally have things resolved. At least I’m not seething with anger over how the breakup took place (McAsshole doesn’t hold a candle to McI in the class department). I’m glad that I had the time that I did with McI, and I learned a lot about what I want and what I don’t want in a relationship. My friends and blogpals have supported me, and my therapist is worth her weight in gold. I have no idea how to rate this

I had a fantastic day at the beach with my friend Smokestack. We’ve both been going through some things the last couple of years, and it’s been a while since we had an all-fun-all-the-time day together. I think we both needed it. We’re still laughing over THAT’S NOT HEALTHY! Plus Ten

While writing about habits that freak me out, I remembered the best billboard ever. A couple of years ago, my sister and I were driving into NYC with friends to go to an art opening (she had a piece displayed). All of the sudden we looked up and say a billboard with this on it:



We couldn’t stop laughing for days. Maybe I’m feeling punchy, but this thing still cracks me up. I need to laugh, so I’m giving it a Plus Five

The War’s still going on, and W’s still an idiot. How can he stand there and express confidence in the Iraqi government? How can he say that the safety of Americans traveling on the roads isn’t worth five cents a gallon? Minus Five

Barry Bonds breaks* Hank Aaron’s homerun record. Baseball wishes he’d just go away. I don’t like A-Rod at all, but I have to admit that I’m looking forward to his breaking Bonds’s record. Just so long as it isn’t against the Red Sox. Minus Two

I’m going to have brunch with the Hangar Queen on Sunday! Look for Fluff pictures soon. Plus Ten

Total Plus: 25
Total Minus: 2

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: +23 (not counting McOver)

Last Week’s Total: -9

The Sassy Sundries: My Week(ish) in Review

Happy hazy, hot, and humid Friday! Summer finally made a comeback here on the East Coast. Not only that, but the heat’s going to last through the weekend, so I’ll be hitting the beach. Only eight hours of work to go.

Well, it’s that time again. Time for me to give my numerical tally of events transpiring over the last seven days. This time, however, I’m going to cheat and haul a few dusty items off the shelves of time. I’ve stolen this idea from the Weekly Dig’s Bean Counter column. The Dig finally got their new site up and running. I haven’t looked through it too much, but I’m a little disconcerted about the “User Login” at the top of the page. We shall see.

OK, shut up, Sassy, and start assigning points. Here are the week’s Sassy Sundries:

I now have a roommate. After the chaos of moving in (and a good therapy appointment), things have settled down. Although I would have preferred to live alone, it is really nice to have someone around to talk to. Plus Five

A bridge collapses in Minneapolis, killing at least five. A steam pipe explodes in Manhattan. Minneapolis and Manhattan join Boston for failed engineering projects. But none of these cities touch Japan, what with that little nuclear plant accident and all. Geeks are weeping. Minus Five

Tammy Faye has begun her mascara sales campaign in the afterlife. Angels and demons wage war over who has to take her, as she weeps tears of black tar. At least we don’t have to deal with her anymore. Even

I have a date tonight with a new guy. I’m pulling a Dive on remaining mum on the whole McI situation. As he says, it’s complicated. Think of the date as heart insurance. Even

W has maintained that he can do whatever he wants because he has Executive Privilege. Alberto Gonzales, our man in the Halls of Justice, lies on the stand. Congress seems powerless to stop them. Another couple of weeks in government. I have to say I miss the days when the most exciting thing going on in politics was a debate over whether or not blow jobs constitute sex. Minus Ten

Things have gotten all 1984 at the place of employment. Minus Two

Fare thee well, Igmar Bergman. Thank you for living and for making so many incredible films. Even

People in Blogland think I’m pretty. Good thing I didn’t post that other one. Plus Three

Total Plus: 8
Total Minus: 17

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: -9

Last Time’s Total: -1

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Ah, Summer. Hours, minutes, drift by, and it seems as though we have all the time in the world. I’m rather surprised to discover that Friday is already upon us.

It is, I guess, and so here are the Sassy Sundries, my weekly tally of things political, personal, and nonsensical:

About a quarter-mile up the street from me, people wake up to find a dead body wrapped in a sheet. Police have revealed few details. Freaky. Minus Three

Summer weather. The really hot stuff didn’t last that long, but it’s still been lovely. Plus Two

Sometimes I find myself envying W’s rose-colored glasses. If he has not had someone enchant them for him, I want the address of the company that makes them. How else can he stand up and say that the damning progress report on his surge means that things are looking up? It’s got to be the glasses. I don’t think Congress has the wherewithal to rip them off him, but the House did pass a bill calling for troops to be out of Iraq by April 2008. Minus Five

Speaking of envy, I want me some executive privilege (actually, what I’d really like is some vice presidential privilege—that’s some amazing stuff). I want to be able to defy Congress, break the law (not backing up official e-mails), and get away with it. Bush tells former White House aide Sara Taylor not to testify, and Harriet Miers doesn’t even show up. Congress might hold Miers in contempt, but they don’t seem to have the follow-through to stop the White House. Minus Five

I had a number of adventures this week, with friends and alone. I’m really enjoying this whole urban experiment. Plus Ten

Oh. I have a new roommate. She’s a friend of mine, and she’ll be moving in at the end of the month. I’m a little nervous about living with someone again after so many years on my own, but mostly I’m excited. I think it will be fun. Plus Five

Testimony from the former US Surgeon General reveals the extent of White House tampering with scientific judgment for political purposes. Ted Kennedy introduces a bill to make the position more independent. The new nominee once wrote a paper calling male homosexuality a pathology and unnatural. He might toe the line a bit more. This whole country is going down the tubes. Minus Five

Lady Bird Johnson died. Her husband’s disastrous involvement in Vietnam has all but obscured his domestic achievements (Voting Rights Act, anyone?), but I’d like to say that I admire her stance against segregation and her work to get the country to give a hoot and not pollute. Even

Total Plus: 17
Total Minus: 18

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: -1

Last Week’s Total: +6

UPDATE: I knew I should have done this later. Two Buck Chuck, the crappy Chardonnay available at Trader Joe's won a prize for best California Chardonnay. Wine snobs everywhere are groaning. I think the week is now in positive territory, don't you?

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Phew! That was a week. Well, it’s time to return to the Sassy Sundries, my on-again, off-again weekly tally of events personal, political, and nonsensical. It’s a stolen idea, and I’d point you to the Dig’s web site, but they are going all Office Space on it right now. One hopes that the new incarnation will load faster and bear no resemblance to their ghastly new glossy covers.

Without further ado, here are the week’s Sassy Sundries:

WTF!!?? W, who as governor of Texas wouldn’t commute the death sentence of a man whose public defender SLEPT through his trial, and who supported the execution of the mentally retarded, and in some cases, the innocent (exculpatory evidence be damned!) thinks that a few years in the clink for a guy who lied about a matter of, I don’t know, national security, is too much? I wish that the brazenness of this Administration still shocked me, but it doesn’t. Minus Five

It’s W’s birthday today—an insult to good Cancer folk everywhere. The New Yorker has several illustrations for your enjoyment. I remember hearing somewhere that Morrissey sends the Queen dead vegetables on her birthday. Perhaps we need a similar tradition here. In any event, I’d like to wish W a very unhappy birthday. Minus Two

Anyone who has been reading this bloggy thing knows that my personal life has been one big, scary rollercoaster of late. I’m hanging on. You all have my gratitude for your support. Even for situation/Plus Ten for friendship

It looks like Rupert Murdoch will get his hands on the Wall Street Journal. The paper’s conservative editorial page is about to go fascist. Aren’t free-market conservatives supposed to resist monopolies? Here’s to hoping that something will intervene to stop the deal. Minus Four

BBC reporter Alan Johnson freed. World rejoices. Plus Five

It’s been twenty years since the Beastie Boys released License to Ill. I don’t think I can stay awake until Brooklyn anymore. But I’m still crafty. Even

OK, this is overdue, but the Roberts Court ended its disastrous first term, overturning precedent after precedent with Orwellian glee (racial integration is racist!). W has a legacy after all. Help us. Minus Five

Attempted suicide bombings in the UK set everyone on edge. Minus Five

Fourth of July a bit of a snoozeroo with the miserable weather and all. The big excitement came from being able to watch the Boston fireworks in bed. Plus Two

Thought I lost my all-time favorite travel mug. I found it sitting on the kitchen table and laughing at me. Not having to give up my attachment fills me with relief, but I have much to think about with new mantras from blog pals. Plus Ten

Total Plus: 27
Total Minus: 21
TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: + 6

Last Time’s Total: + 18

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Ah… A Friday off. Of course, it’s for a family wedding, which means one thing for this single woman in her thirties.

With that in mind, here are the week’s Sassy Sundries (WARNING: Grey’s news ahead):

Today I will be Bridget Jones, my spinsterhood on display as a cautionary tale. Everyone will ask me (or worse, my mother) what happened. You are such a pretty girl, Sassy. Why has no one scooped you up? (Answer: Why, RandomBusybodyRelative, that would put a real dent in my orgy schedule, now wouldn’t it?) I’m sure I’ll hear Lesbian staged whispered more than once (Answer: Oh, Auntie Homophobe, we’re in Massachusetts. If I were a lesbian, my sweet, loving wife would be right here at my side in this Catholic church! ) Someone is almost certain to try to fix me up.Sassy, I have a young man I’d like you to meet. Well, he isn’t so young anymore, and he’s fat and doesn’t have all of his own teeth, but he isn’t afraid of a single, educated working girl like you. Why don’t I introduce you? (Answer: Well, there is no answer. I’ll probably wind up meeting the feller and smiling wanly at his jokes in the name of politeness.) While I wish that everyone would just leave me alone, I suppose all this concern is my family’s way of saying that they love me and want to see me happy. Sigh… Minus Three

Speaking of Auntie Homophobe, she’s pissed, and I’m pleased as punch. The Massachusetts legislature refused to put discrimination to a vote. Gay marriage will stand in Massachusetts for the foreseeable future. Deval Patrick actually did something right in getting behind this fight. Plus Five

James K. Seale, a former member of the KKK, was convicted in the 1964 murder of two black teenagers. He got to live almost his entire life as a free man, but justice has finally been served in this Civil Rights era case. Plus Four

Realized that I have better options now than I did when I was dating McArtsyPants. Plus Five

Republicans in the Senate rally to support an Attorney General who takes advantage of the sick and possibly dying to reauthorize an illegal wire-tapping program. Yeah, they are the party of morals. Disgusting. Minus Two

I had a fantastic weekend last weekend. Great date, great visit from a friend, creepy conversation with Lawnmoah Man, what more can anyone ask for? Plus Ten

It’s looking more and more like Scooter Libby will really go to the clink. Too bad he needs a pardon from W to avoid it. If it were up to the Republicans in Congress, he’d probably get it. Plus Two

Bye, bye, Dr. Burke. Isaiah Washington’s big mouth and volatile temper get him canned from Grey’s. It’s not exactly shocking news, but there it is. I can’t say as I’m sorry. He did cajole Christina into getting her eyebrows removed, only to jilt her at the altar. Even

The Red Sox are in a slump. Still, they are 7.5 games ahead of the evil Yankees. Minus Two

Total Plus: 25
Total Minus: 7

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: +18

Last Week’s Total: -4

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Time keeps going faster and faster, it seems. Here we are at another Friday, and a beautiful one at that. The sun is shining, flowers are in bloom, and it’s time to tally up the week’s events. What a mindfuck of a week it’s been, too. Overall, I’m in a fine mood, but when W is unleashed on the world, it’s time to be scared. Oh, that and Oprah and Paris Hilton.

Behold, the week’s Sassy Sundries:

Oprah picked Middlesex for her book club. What the hell? Why, why, why does she have to go and ruin every good book? It’s bad enough that you can’t get a copy of The Virgin Suicides without a picture of Kirsten Dunst on it, but now we have to have the dreaded “O” business on the cover of Middlesex? Why couldn’t Jeffrey Eugenides be like Jonathan Franzen and tell Oprah to stick it where the sun don’t shine? Gah! Minus Five

Have hot date tonight with McI. The fashion gods smiled upon me, and I found the sexiest little black dress for an evening of jazz and… No, Dive. No pictures. Plus Ten

Scooter Libby gets 2.5 years in the slammer for lying about the leak in the Valerie Plame case. Now we just need to get Rove and Cheney behind bars. Plus Five

Speaking of prison, Paris Hilton took up residence in her new digs and then decided that she didn’t like clink. And guess what? They let her out! The LA Sheriff allowed the repeat drunk driver out of jail for a “medical problem.” I hope the law takes pity on the poor kid arrested with a joint, but somehow I doubt it. It’s not like they let Martha Stewart out because her uniform clashed with her towel. Makes me sick, I tell you. Minus Ten
Update: She's going back to the slammer. Poor thing cried. Hee hee.

Have potential new career as a private eye. Will begin scouring stores at once for 30s noir dresses, and will come up with new hair style. Can anyone tell me how to sound like Lauren Bacall? Craigslist is fun. Plus Two

My parents saw the new bachelorette pad, and my mother didn’t make one condescending comment. Plus Three

George W. Bush blows hot air about global warming. What can you expect from an oil man? I’m glad he got a tummy ache. Too bad he didn’t barf all over some world leader like his old man did. Minus Ten

My friend Smokestack is coming to visit me tomorrow afternoon. A grand time shall be had. Plus Five

What the hell is going on with the rhetoric between Bush and Putin? Are we back to the Cold War or something? Note to George: Using the word “hyperventilating” to describe a touchy situation isn’t very diplomatic. Please don’t get me nuked. I’d really like to live to see thirty-four. Minus Five

Things are looking up on the roommate front. I have two possible candidates who would do just fine. Plus Four

Have potential stalker problem on my hands, in the form of Neighbor’s ex-boyfriend. Minus Three

Total Plus: 29
Total Minus: 33
TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: -4

Last Week’s Total: +14

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Happy Friday! It’s time once again for me to give my weekly tally of things political, personal, and nonsensical (idea stolen from the Bean Counter column in Boston’s Weekly Dig).

Here are this week’s Sassy Sundries:

My effing leg caused me to miss Grey’s Anatomy last night. One of these days, I should become a real American and get cable. Don’t tell me what happened. I’ll watch it online tonight, Friday night, while in bed with an ice pack on my appendage. Hrmph. Minus Ten

Congress hands Bush the Iraq War spending bill with a timetable for withdrawal on the fourth anniversary of the Mission Accomplished speech—a very nice bit of timing, allowing everyone the chance to snicker at the image of W in his flight suit. Plus Five

Bush vetoes the Iraq War spending bill, saying that he’s “the Commander Guy” (I thought he was “the Decider”) and that we can’t set a deadline for failure. Ummm… didn’t failure already happen about four years ago? Veto sustained in Congress, but message still sent that the American people are no longer behind this war. Minus Three

Before the return of the leg injury, got to do some dancing with McI. Plus Ten

Things just keep getting worse at the halls of justice. That Monica Goodling. No wonder she pled the fifth. It might work, too. In exchange for her testimony, she may avoid prosecution. Minus Two

Have discovered Casey’s, a most excellent local watering hole and contender for my favorite alternate parallel universe. Expect a post about Casey’s soon. Plus Three

Former CIA chief George Tenet tries to explain his actions in the days leading up to the Iraq War. While anyone paying attention knows that the White House was hell-bent on going to war with Iraq with or without the “slam dunk” quote, Tenet still comes off sounding self-serving and disingenuous (and not a little crazy). Even

Sometimes, wonderful things arrive through the mail. While I fear for the little old ladies of the world, I really needed the laugh. Plus Ten

Total Plus: 28
Total Minus: 15

TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: Plus 7

Last Week’s Total: Minus 25,000,000,005

Week from Hell: Gun Control, War, the Attorney General, the World Bank, and Abortion Rights

What a week to be in a self-absorbed cocoon. While I was getting beaten, bruised, and strained in the act of moving, quite a week was going on out there. I don’t know how to rank this stuff, most of it is so bad, so the Sassy Sundries will be back next week.

Thanks to the militancy of the National Rifle Association, an insane young man was able to purchase guns and ammunition and shoot up his school. Somehow I don’t think that the Founders envisioned the kinds of arms we have available today when they introduced the right for states to raise militias into the Constitution. It angers me beyond belief that this tragedy could have been averted, if only our society would take both mental health and gun control more seriously.

While media outlets have been airing poignant portraits of the individuals killed in the Virginia Tech shooting, some two hundred Iraqis died in suicide bombings this week. This surge simply isn’t working. As Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has said, we can’t win this war militarily. But our Decider-in-Chief insists that surging will win the Global War on Terror. Guess we better trust him then.

The Decider steadfastly stood by his man in the hall of justice, despite his demonstrated incompetence and deceitfulness. Even his Republican allies castigated Attorney General Alberto Gonzales’s performance at his hearing yesterday. How can a guy who graduated from Harvard Law forget so much? Let’s hope Gonzales, who argues that the Constitution does not actually contain the right to Habeas Corpus and that the Geneva Conventions rules outlawing torture are “quaint” and outdated, will soon be left to the dustbin of history.

One of the chief architects of the Iraq War and pal of the Decider Paul Wolfowitz vowed as head of the World Bank to go after corruption. Guess he never thought that anyone would find out that he stashed his girlfriend in the State Department and arranged for her to get sweet promotions and even sweeter paychecks. It must be nice to have the head of the World Bank as your sugar daddy.

The Bush-packed Supreme Court decided this week that women don’t have rights over their own bodies. Roberts and Alito ruled with Scalia, Thomas, and Kennedy that despite expert medical opinion, that banning the so-called “partial birth abortion” was just fine. The dilation and extraction procedure (and potentially, due to the bill’s vague language, some second-trimester abortion procedures) is never, ever necessary, even if the mother’s life is at stake, because these guys said so.



I think I’ll try to repair my self-absorbed cocoon and see if I can’t get back in it. This is just too much.

Hypocrites Much? Thoughts on the US Attorneys Scandal

Republicans. I can’t believe them. After getting caught firing eight US attorneys for exclusively political reasons so that they could use the misguided USA Patriot Act to replace the attorneys with ones more amenable to the Bush & Co. line, the Administration is acting like the Democrats are playing nothing but politics. Bush refuses to allow his people to testify under oath, charging that to do anything else would be a partisan “fishing expedition.”

I’m sorry, but what the hell? This is coming from the head of a party that impeached a president over a BLOW JOB. The sex life of the president had no bearing on his ability to effectively govern (and if you disagree with that statement, you’d best reevaluate your judgment of most US presidents), and yet the country was bogged down by Republican viciousness for years. But asking the White House to testify under oath about something that has a significant impact on the running of the country is pandering to politics?

I don’t think that the firing of these attorneys is the worst thing Gonzales has done. That said, he still needs to answer for it. Rove needs to address his role as well. And once that’s done, Congress needs to repeal the Patriot Act.

George W. Bush needs to shut up about partisanship already. He’s the worst offender of them all.

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Is it really Friday again? Holy crap. Well I guess that means it’s time for the Sassy Sundries, an idea I’ve ripped off from Boston’s Weekly Dig. Here I assign numerical values to things political, personal, and nonsensical from the past week. Enjoy!

Once again, Dick Cheney is not having a great time of it. First his aide, Scooter Libby, gets convicted of four of the five counts against him. From the court proceedings, it’s obvious that Cheney was involved in the leak. Then the guy gets just one more reminder that he’s a walking corpse. As a human being, I wish him no harm, but wouldn’t it be nice if Satan stepped down? Plus Three

Scooter Libby might have gotten convicted, but Rove and Cheney escape unscathed. Minus Two

In local politics, our new Governor is making misstep after misstep; the latest one has generated an ethics complaint. Still, he handled the immigration situation nicely. Minus Two

I was still a bit confused by McIntriguing this week, but things really are great now. Goofy grin has returned. Sorry. Plus Ten

Hedged bets in the romantic department after confusing McIntriguing activity and replied to an e-mail from another interesting fellow. Am now feeling a bit conflicted about it, but am pleased with myself for treating dating as dating until it becomes something else. Plus Two

Redid iPod this week. I haven’t listened to the Jesus and Mary Chain in ages. Also obtained the latest Arcade Fire release on iTunes. Am moving up in technology world. Plus One

Evidence comes out that the FBI is taking major league advantage of the Patriot Act. Shock, Shock. Minus Two

General Petraeus, the general in charge of the Iraq “surge,” says that there isn’t a military solution to the war. The general is a rocket scientist. Bush doesn’t listen to scientists. Minus Two

U2’s Joshua Tree album came out twenty years ago today. I remember the day clearly—Smokestack and I sat around discussing the merits of the band's new approach, and she was swinging her head and torso around in time to “With or Without You.” We were in the eighth grade. I feel older than dirt. Even

Total Plus: 16
Total Minus: 8
TOTAL FOR THE WEEK: Plus 8
LAST WEEK’S TOTAL: Plus 35

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Here’s yet another mathematical accounting of things personal, political, and sundry in my life. I’ve stolen the idea from Boston’s Weekly Dig’s Bean Counter column. They don’t seem to have much by way of mathematical skills, either. Thanks to Before Girl for pointing out the error of my simple arithmetic last week. At least she doesn't pick on my pre-coffee comments.

I have a date with McIntriguing tomorrow evening. Plus Ten

According to Salon.com’s War Room, a recent Pew Research Center, the words most commonly volunteered to describe W are “incompetent” and “arrogant.” “Ass” comes in at number 13. Here’s to the Ass-in-Chief, our leader. Minus Three

I got to see Dear Prudence for the first time in ages. It was a good, if not nearly long enough, visit. Plus Five

Unlike the US Senate, the House has a spine. This week’s debate on the non-binding Iraq War resolution gives me some hope that Congress might start standing up to the Administration. Plus Two

Meanwhile, the war rages on, and the Democrats are scared about being called weak on defense. Minus Five

V-Day passed without incident. Even

Winter weather finally decided to show up. Even though it was mostly freezing rain, I still got that snowed-in feeling. Plus Two

I had a nasty case of the flu. Minus Three

“Raspberry Beret” just came on my iPod. One. Two. One, two, three, uh! Plus One

Plus Total: 20
Minus Total: 11
Total for the Week: Plus 9
Last Week’s Total: Bad Math

The Sassy Sundries: My Week in Review

Here I consider matters personal, political, and nonsensical from my week and assign a numerical value. I’ve stolen this idea from the Boston’s Weekly Dig’s Bean Counter column.

Spineless Republicans supposedly in favor of a non-binding resolution criticizing the president’s ill-conceived surge vote against debating the measure. Minus Five

I reconnected with a friend, and it was good. Plus Four

RIP, Anna Nicole Smith, victim of stereotype and the media. She had nary a brain cell in her head, but that makes it all the more reprehensible that people reveled in her exploitation. Minus Two

A most interesting e-mail exchange with McIntriguing has me smiling a lot. Plus Five

I had to resort to platitudes to calm myself down while I waited for the e-mail to ring. Minus One

Bush’s foreign “policy” of late has me even more worried than usual. This article lays out the sheer idiocy of the Administration’s posturing on Iran. And although this article James sent me doesn’t have a lot of new information, it lays out a very convincing case for the real motivations behind our Middle East policy. Minus Five

I got to knit with Grey’s when the show was actually on. Thanks, Carissa! (If you haven’t checked out her critique of the show’s location issues and other crimes against Seattle, you should. It’s a scream.) Plus Four

I’m going to New Hampshire tonight, and I’m going to see my favorite dog. Oh, and my parents. That will be nice too. Plus Three

Plus Total: 16
Minus Total: 16

Verdict: Even
Last Week’s Total: Minus 1

My Week in Review

Boston's Weekly Dig has a column called the Bean Counter where they assign numerical values to the week's events. I thought I would do my own. Behold, the Sassy Sundries.

I joined another online dating site and got six guys trying to instant message me at once. Plus Two

None of them were really my type. Minus One

City of Boston brought to its knees by Lite Brite. I can’t stop laughing. Plus One

Everyone keeps calling it a “terrorist hoax,” even though it was just a marketing campaign and wasn’t meant to scare anyone. Minus One

The guys employed by Turner Network to hang the “bombs” monkey around with the press and talk about hairstyles. Plus Three

Molly Ivins, one of the sharpest, sassiest, and insightful columnists in the country dies. Minus Four

Dive’s reaction to finding out that I was a cheerleader. Plus Five

Scientists from around the world state unequivocally that global warming is real and that the burning of fossil fuels is the culprit. Plus Five

Bush won’t do anything about it except talk about nuke-u-lar power. Minus Four

The Administration wants to go to war with Iran. I had been hoping that Seymour Hersh’s New Yorker article was wrong, even though I knew better. Minus Five

We haven’t had real snow yet, and it’s freaking me out. Minus Two

Plus Total: 16
Minus Total: 17

Total for the Week: Minus 1

If my math's wrong, tough. The Dig messes it up too.