Thursday, May 03, 2007
The Power of the Paper Prayer Rug
Something good is about to happen!
My leg will be healed, because I received a paper prayer rug in the mail.
If I return it in a special envelope, my leg will get better, I’ll get $46,000, AND a new car.
Here’s how it works.
I take this paper prayer rug, on LOAN to me from St. Matthew’s Churches of Tulsa, Oklahoma, and stare at the purple picture of Jesus. His eyes appear to be closed, but as you stare intently into the picture, they open and start looking at you. It’s true! They do open. And it isn’t an optical illusion; it’s the power of the paper prayer rug.
After you see Jesus’ eyes, you go and kneel on the prayer rug, being careful to touch both knees to it. I’m afraid I can’t kneel right now, but I’m hoping that by sitting in a chair and holding the paper prayer rug up to my knees it will still work.
Then, I need to fold up the prayer rug and return it in a special envelope, along with a sheet of paper detailing my prayer requests and how much I’d like to donate. I will receive a free spiritual blessing in return.
Remember! This is the next morning!
Oh dear. I broke the seal on my prophecy before I returned the prayer rug. Do you think my leg will still get better? Maybe I’ll only get $23,000 and a Yugo. Help me, paper prayer rug!