Monday, August 06, 2007

McOver

Yesterday morning I woke up, and I realized that I was happy. I’d had a date Friday night—not a good date (the guy was really, really good looking— there was just nothing there)—but a date all the same. Saturday I’d headed up to Portland and had a wonderful day at the beach with my old friend Smokestack. Thirty years of inside jokes came roaring out of us, and we were laughing like fools. I had all these plans with friends set for the week. I had no plans with McI, and it occurred to me that it really didn’t bother me.

My poor roommate’s plan of her Sunday at the beach fell through, and we went to brunch instead. After that I headed home and hung out in the backyard with the paper. Then I broke my moratorium on sequels again and went to see the new Bourne flick (I know, I know, but when The New Yorker gives an action flick a decent review, I figure it’s OK). On my way home, I tried to decide if I was going to let McI know that I was moving on or just let him go. I went with just letting him go.

This morning I woke up to a message from him saying that he just wasn’t in a space where a relationship with me was something he could do but that he had enjoyed our time together and that he’d be happy to hear from me sometime in the future. I messaged back saying much the same thing.

So, it’s over. I’m sad, and I’m cursing the Timing Gods, for timing was the real issue here, but I’m going to be OK. The parts of this relationship that were good were really good, but I deserve something that is all good. It's hard to remain optimistic when I have to keep picking up the pieces of myself, but I'm a survivor because I have hope.

I’m probably going to be offline for a bit, but I will try to get back to commenting form soon.

14 comments:

dive said...

Take it easy, Sassy.
Don't be gone long.

Vic said...

You're right. You do deserve something that is all good. You're very strong and perceptive to have figured this out, because a hell of a lot settle for less.

Take car, mate.

Robyn said...

You really do deserve something that is ALL good. Now you don't have to waste your time and energy with something that is less.

I have said this before, Sassy, but I am always impressed with your smarts and your ability to sort things out.

The Hangar Queen said...

I've the kettle on and the apple tart is warming in the oven.

There are also other types of liquid consolation we could try.

Take your time and come back when you like.We'll all be here waiting for our Sassy.

Dear Prudence said...

Yetta, always thinking of you.

Rhea said...

Survivors (of anything) rock!

Miz Minka said...

Never settle for less than what you're worth, Sassy. You deserve ALL good. Come back to Blogland soon!

Medbh said...

Don't mull on it too long, Sassy, and be good to yourself.

Rich said...

I'm not sure if any relationship can be ALL good but you can try to find one.
Really when you think of it there will be good and bad in everything we do in life even our most treasured relationships

Flirty Something said...

it's a numbers game, will happen just increase your odds by dating lots!

Conortje said...

Of course you deserve more Sassy. Stay strong lass :-)

Conan Drumm said...

That's life, and his loss. I'd have been a bit sadder for you but for knowing that a sparky gorgeous girl like yourself will meet Mr sparky gorgeous before too long.

zirelda said...

Beautiful and healthy. You bet you deserve something all good. You Rock.

Maria said...

Well, I have been lucky enough to have only been "let go" once. And I recall that it helped me immensely to imagine her getting a really big zit and maybe an urinary tract infection.

But, I am not all grown up and wise like you!

Did you like the new Bourne offering? I admit to having a raging crush on Joan Allen's character, Pam.....