Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Welcome to New Hampshire: A Moving Story

My first roommate in graduate school, I’ll call him McRoomie, had the most harrowing moving experience of all time. McRoomie was one of the sweetest, most mild-mannered people I’ve ever met. He had served in the Peace Corps. He liked children. I actually saw him help a little old lady across the street. I never saw him get mad, even when perhaps he should have. So the fact that this happened to him makes it all the more incredible to me.

McRoomie moved from Georgia to start his graduate studies in New Hampshire. He packed up all his stuff into one of those yellow moving vans and headed to the Granite State with joy in his heart. He smiled as he crossed the New Hampshire border. He paid the toll at the toll booth and thanked the toll taker for taking his money. He drove under an underpass on the highway. On the bridge were a dozen state troopers, with guns. Pointed at McRoomie. This freaked McRoomie out, but perhaps this is the New Hampshire way, he thought.

Not two seconds later, his yellow moving van was surrounded by even more state troopers. Confused, he pulled over, even using his turn signal to do so. A trooper ripped open the door, pulled him out of the car, while a number of other cops trained their guns on him. Slammed up against the moving van, with a gun against his head, the troopers screamed at him. A couple of others ripped open the moving van door and started searching. McRoomie nearly pissed himself with fear. He was so scared that he didn’t even think to question why this was happening to him.

Less than a minute later, the cops searching the van hopped down and said, “It’s not him.”

Down went the guns, away went the cops. The trooper who had frisked him threw his wallet back at him, saying, “Welcome to New Hampshire.”

Quaking in his boots, McRoomie drove very slowly to his new home. It wasn’t until a week or so later that he learned that someone using a yellow moving van had robbed an armored car, killing the driver and his companion (a crime that was never solved).

12 comments:

dive said...

Yikes!
So are you settled in to the new place yet, Sassy? We want the full story, with all the swearing left in, please.

Kav said...

Holy crap. I know cops have a job to do, but do they really need to be such dicks about it?

Robyn said...

Jeez (the others have already used my most common exclamations). What a story. Actually, I like the lack of swearing because it seems to fit the McRoomie persona.

How's your own move going, Sassy?

Sassy Sundry said...

Dive and Robyn, McRoomie did indeed have a very clean way about him. Once in a blue moon he'd let a curse word fly, but overall, he was a good boy. Plus, I wrote the story at work (very productive, me).

Kav, no kidding. I couldn't believe they'd acted like that. It was a brutal crime, but it's not as though yellow moving vans are all that uncommon around here.

Sassy Sundry said...

Oh, and my move is winding down. I'm sitting on a box and typing on the laptop's keyboard. The laptop is perched on a little-kid desk. McI was a HUGE help the other night, and I don't have much left in here.

I said "shit" several times while trying to get some stuff up the stairs. Oh, and once I said "fuck" when I banged my knee. I'm so bruised that I look like a victim of domestic violence.

dive said...

Sounds like a pretty successful move, then. You weren't hospitalised and you didn't kill anyone.
Welcome to your new home, Sassy.

Robyn said...

I think Fluff needs to tour the new place.

dive said...

Great idea, Robyn!

Rich said...

WOW!! I remember that story. It was a sad thing.

Dear Prudence said...

It is the NH Way! Just barrel on through assuming you know what you are doing and don't under any circumstances appologize!

Fat Sparrow said...

Jeez, they could have used some lube before they took him up the arse, at least. There's always time for lube!

Sassy Sundry said...

Fluff will take a tour. Fluff will be living in Fluff's hometown (it was invented in Somerville).

Rich, it was a horrible story, but it sounds as though the cops overreacted just a bit with McRoomie.

Ah, Prudence. There's a reason why I left the Granite State.

Lube would have helped, Fat Sparrow. They should have thought of that.