Thursday, October 12, 2006

On the Uses and Misuses of E-Mail

E-mail has revolutionized communication. It has exponentially increased workplace interaction; decisions can be made in moments, and forwards keep the workers entertained. People keep in touch with quick little greetings and stories of the day's happenings. E-mail is a wonderful thing, and many of us have no idea where we’d be without it.

E-mail, however, can get you into trouble. Misunderstandings abound, and what was meant as a joke or a heartfelt sentiment can be interpreted as a snarky mean thing to say. Friendships are strained; lovers quarrel. Happens all the time. This is why e-mail is best reserved for light, quick communication. Potentially sensitive topics are best avoided.

Thus, e-mail is not to be used to break up with someone you’ve been dating for months. Someone you’ve told you love. Someone you’ve said that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. E-mail messages lack the element of timing (you may have written it at one in the morning, but your break-up-ee could read the break-up e-mail at work, in the middle of a busy day, and have to leave in tears). E-mail messages are one-sided communications, and the other person cannot respond in the moment. No matter how much anguish you express, no matter how many nice things you say, it's still a fucking electronic message bouncing around in cyberspace. Break-up e-mails are a cowardly, selfish, fuckass horrid way to say goodbye to someone you once loved, especially when you never communicated in person that there were problems. There’s no closure for the other person, there’s no nothing. Except rage and disbelief that someone the person loved could be so cold.

If it ever occurs to you, dear reader, to break off a significant relationship via the information superhighway, please think carefully. Your ex will only think of you as a spineless, cowardly, useless, self-absorbed, fuckhead bastard piece of shit. And those are the nice words.

Buck up. Be an adult. Show some respect, if not for the person, then for the memory of what you had. For God's sake, at least use the fucking telephone.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, Sassy, no.
Please don't say this is about you.
If it is, then my thoughts are with you. This makes me so fucking ashamed to be male.
Anyone too cowardly to talk things out face to face doesn't deserve to be in a relationship. Ever. I can't write what I really think; there are not enough swear words in the dictionary.
Stay angry, girl. You are worth so much more.

Anonymous said...

Sassy, you're right. E-mail is a fuckass way to communicate emotions and actions that should take face to face, and I'm terribly sorry if this post is personal.

I've experienced a few exchanges myself that should not have taken place through e-mail, so I know what you mean.

Sassy Sundry said...

Yep. This is how my boyfriend chose to dump me. No discussion, no real warning, just an e-mail (subject line: the hardest e-mail i've ever had to write). I got it at work.

Anonymous said...

That's just too awful for words. I'm so sorry.

Yetta (2) said...

OH YETTA,
I could take care of that spineless Futhermucker for ya.. no one would need to know... who would suspect a blonde amamzon from Peyton Place... how bout it huh huh !!! I got ya back baby, just say the word...

Love ya
Yetta 2

Sassy Sundry said...

I know. This has earned Universal Approbation. It was just sick and wrong. And so cold. I'd like to be dealing with the pain of breaking up, but I'm so angry I'm having a hard time seeing straight.

Super C said...

Yup...he needs a good swift kick to the head. And probably other male body parts while he is writhing on the ground.

Again...I'm so sorry, friend.

Before Girl said...

That is just the worst thing ever. He's not worth the space he takes up, the air he breathes. If this is his way of dealing with the hard things in life, by sending email, then he's got a LOT of hard things to deal with in life-any relationship he may have, either personally, or professionally, will be marred by his lack of character, of warmth, of honesty in dealing with the hard issues of life. I can only hope you get to hear firsthand of it in some way, and be glad you are no longer with him.

You need ice cream, movies, warm blankets. Know you have comfort from all us strangers. :)

AM said...

Angry's good. Sassy's got reason. Crappy feelings have their own superhighway. Righteous rage doesn't anesthetize for long, but it still works for a damned fine scalpel. Sassy doesn't need to worry that wrath will stoop her to Dickhead's chickenshit denial. Sassy's got as strong a center as anyone AM has ever met. Dickhead's already squatted more space in Sassy's soul than he's worth. Carve out the cancer. T-cell the rest. Heal for spite. Heal for self. Find the center.

Anonymous said...

Anger really does have a place in the process of healing. The pain will come soon enough--let yourself feel whatever you need to feel.

Sassy Sundry said...

Thank you, all of you. Your support means a lot to me.

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